Caroline
by M. D. Jensen
Summary: Every hero's had their heart broken.


Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. This is based on a flashback scene from Last Flight.

Summary: Every hero's had their heart broken.

****

Caroline

They were going to get married. God, they were going to get married.

Jonathon Archer walked down the crowded, twilight streets of San Francisco, completely stuck in his own little, perfect world. Being a well-build man in his late twenties and a crisp, clean Starfleet uniform, he was attracting much female attention as he strode down the streets. But none of that mattered now.

Since his father had died, nothing had really been right. He had mourned, moved on, but there was always a sense of loneliness. But not anymore.

Now the Warp program was a go, and his father's work would soon become reality. Now he was a Lieutenant Commander, on the road to being the first captain of a Warp engine ship. Now he had Caroline.

And tonight he was proposing. 

The sky began to stream rain, but even though he normally hated inclement weather, Jon was sure that the angels were weeping with joy. And besides, it wasn't a cold, harsh rain. It was warm and gentle, like her, falling down all around him, making ripples on the surface of the river that he stood next to. He thumbed the box in his coat pocket.

He had never been a particular romantic. He was down-and-dirty, a man for action, not really one to stop and smell the flowers. At least not until Caroline came along.

Jon settled down on a bench near the waterfront, heart racing. The pedestrian traffic swirled around him, but he was just one man sitting in the middle of all of them, and no one paid him any mind. But he didn't care. Nothing mattered now but her. 

It was early, only quarter of six, and they weren't to meet for another fifteen minutes. But just in case she was early, he'd be earlier. He didn't want to miss a second of her.

He waited only ten of those fifteen minutes, but he spent all ten floating on air. He barely noticed as an old lady passed with her adoring teenage grandson, a crowd of Starfleet cadets filed passed and saluted him, a little girl only seven or so skipped along, blonde curls bouncing as she hopped from puddle to puddle. He didn't notice anyone until Caroline came up and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hey," she said quietly.

"Hey," Jon replied, smiling widely. "Glad you could make it." In his endorphin-induced haze, he hardly noticed how unhappy she looked, at least until she sat down and began studying his face. 

"What is it?" He said, catching her hand in his as she traced his cheek with her finger. "Afraid you'll never see me again?" He teased gently.

"Maybe," she whispered, as he tried not to worry. Nothing could end this perfect life now. Could it?

"Caroline," Jon said, reaching into his pocket. "I have something to ask you. Tell you."

"Me too." Her crystal eyes wouldn't meet his.

"You go first," he offered chivalrously, without hesitation. Which he later regretted.

She inhaled deeply, and suddenly there was a sinking feeling in Jon's heart. "I'm moving to New Berlin. There's an opening at the university there for a music professor and I've been offered the job."

"Oh." Jon exhaled, relief washing briefly over him, right before he began to comprehend the entire implication to the statement. "Oh," he groaned.

"I'm sorry, Jon. You know I love you. But I just can't ask you to go with me. And this is too good a job for me to pass up." She tried to explain, but he turned away. 

"Please, walk with me," she begged. He stood up very mechanically. His legs didn't seem to be working.

They walked along the edge of the water, staring across at the lights on the other side of the river. Jon waited for Caroline to speak, and Caroline waited for Jon. Finally he spoke. "You don't have to lie."

"About what?" she asked innocently.

"About the real reason you're going to New Berlin."

"I…"

"Look, it's no secret that you hate me being in Starfleet. I know you think it's dangerous, but that's no reason to…"

"Listen to me Jon," she broke in, and whirled to face him, taking his hand into hers. "I love you. But I barely see you anymore. You're not in love with me. You're in love with that engine of your father's; you're in love with that," she said, pointing accusingly at the sky, then letting her arm fall back to Earth. "I'm holding you down," she whispered tearfully.

"No," Jon insisted. "No, Caroline…"

"G'bye, Jon," she whispered simply, taking back her hand and walking away from him.

Jonathon Archer stood on the crowded, twilight waterside of San Francisco, completely stuck in his own little, miserable world. Being a well-build man in his late twenties and a crisp, clean Starfleet uniform, he was attracting much female attention as he stood in the rain. But none of that mattered now.

Since his father had died, nothing had really been right. He had mourned, moved on, but there was always a sense of loneliness. But now it went beyond lonely.

Now the Warp program was a go, and his father's work would soon become reality. Now he was a Lieutenant Commander, on the road to being the first captain of a Warp engine ship. But none of that mattered. He didn't have Caroline.

The rain fell harder, and he hated it. The angels were weeping for him, but why couldn't they just leave him alone?!? And besides, it was a cold, harsh rain. It beat down on the grass like bullets, soaking everything it touched. Especially him.

He had never been a particularly vunerable man. He was down-and-dirty, a man for action, not really one to succumb to grief. At least not until Caroline came along.

Jon threw himself down on a bench near the waterfront, sobs wracking him. The pedestrian traffic swirled around him, but he was just one man stuck in the middle of all of them, and no one paid him any mind. But he didn't care. Nothing mattered now but her. And she was gone.

He didn't notice as a homeless teenager stumbled along with her backpack, a crowd of people in black filed by, whispering and mourning the loss of a friend, a little boy only seven or so ran along, calling out for his disappeared mother. For anyone. Jon didn't notice any of this; he wasn't even aware of his legs taking him somewhere- anywhere- out of the rain.

He found himself in the 602 some hours later with four empty glasses in front of him. He didn't remember how he had gotten there. 

__

Usually you're conscious before_ the liquor_, he mused, but when everything hit him again and he remembered, the pain returned and tears broke out of his eyes.

"Everything alright, honey?" The bar's lone waitress asked, sliding into the booth beside the bar's lone patron. 

"Ruby?" Jon asked softly. "What happened?"

"Well, _how it_ happened is something I don't know. But one the way in to my shift, I found you practically passed out on a bench near the river. Soaked to the bone, you poor thing. I figured you could use a place to stay. And a stiff drink or five," Ruby joked kindly.

"Thanks," he mumbled. There was a long pause, then Ruby asked, "So what did happen? I've never seen _you_ drink this much before. Hell, I barely see anyone drinkin' this much these days."

Jon sank back into the falsely-proclaimed 'soft' leather of the booth, and closed his eyes. "Caroline left. She's gone to New Berlin."

"Oh, baby…" she crooned, reaching over to brush one of his damp bangs off his forehead. He recoiled at her touch. It was too much like Caroline's. 

"D'ya want me ta leave you alone?" She asked knowingly. He just shrugged, not knowing what else to do.

Ruby stared in disbelief at the unbreakable man who had so suddenly broken. "You can't go anywhere with what you've had to drink," she firmly insisted. Someone had to be his touchstone for tonight, and she was a good candidate. "You're stayin' the night. No one ever uses that booth over there near the kegs; go get some shut-eye." She pushed him in the general direction and watched nervously as he stumbled in a zig-zag line. 

Her watch buzzed as the numbers changed to 1:00am; it was halfway through her shift. She stared across the bar as Jon curled up into a ball beneath his coat and positioned himself to lean against the wall.

"It's gon' be okay, you know." She assured him gently as he pulled his limbs into his chest and momentarily gave in to sleep.

The last thing Jon felt was how desperately wanted to believe her.


End file.
